Introspective or self-obsessed, find a good therapist, etc…

19 Nov

So my personality in general is an obsessive one.  I tend to dive into whatever I am interested in with the burning energy of a thousand suns.  So I guess, my current obsession with my upcoming #wls, at least, is an experience my DH is used to in terms of ‘losing me’ for a while.  He has his own things too.  I find myself worrying about this obsession more than usual though, wondering how long it will last and if there is a healthier way to deal with it.  I suspect its normal for most people contemplating a major life change to really be thinking about it a lot.  I’m not sure that my husband is worried about it, seeing as he is so used to watching me “obsession hop” my way through life.  But I do find myself wondering about that aspect of personality — what makes that so, and how do you rechannel that?  I suppose the answer to all these things is counseling and therapy and the like. 

I have not had good lucky with therapists.  The first one I tried, for original treatment of anxiety, past abuse issues, was ok, but I was young and didn’t stick with it, and frankly, I still feel the same about it, in that i want to work in therapy, not just talk.  I want someone to give me things to work on, not just chat about my past.  I’ve talked about my past to death.   Second therapist, was after a major loss in life, and she focused on something called TAT.  I was pleased that it was ‘doing’ something, but became majorly turned off when she told me my auras were blocked.  It felt like quackery from that moment forward, and I stopped going.  The third was one to really work on all the issues across the board, ADHD, emotional eating, you name it.  I walk into his office, and after a brief introduction, the first substantive thing he says, after I spend 10 minutes pouring out a summary of my life story, is “Let’s talk about your weight, you do realize that the image you send to the world, don’t you?”  I wish I had gotten right up in that moment and walked out, prick.  Really, the first introductory visit is the place for “tough love”?  Really? 

So, there it is, my hesitance to find a new therapist.  I’m kind of thinking about using one of the ones that that bariatric program has do pysch evals,because they must see enough people for emotional eating issues.  One of the guys comes to the bariatric support groups to do talks on specific issues, so I think I’m going to listen to him in some of those before deciding on him.  Ultimately, i would like to have a female therapist, but man, how do you find a needle in a haystack?  Maybe I’ll get some good recommendations when I begin going to the support group.

In more tactical things, I’m beginning to  accumulate what I need to be prepared for the pre-op liquid diet and the post-op phase.  I have my bariatric vitamins for the first month at least (OptiSource)  I have samples of several different protein powders from vitalady, click, unjury.  I have some basic chocolate protein powder, and I have unjury chicken soup in a full sized container, with a full sized container of unjury unflavored on the way.  I have lots of boxes of sugar free jello.  I have my teeny tiny dishes in the cupboard.  I have gas strips (LOL).  I need some slippers, and they better have adult sized stompeez, I tell you. Haha!    Although I think our new puppy would have a field day with those if I didn’t watch her like a hawk.

On that note, this pup is amazing.  We have done just rounds of fostering for the last couple of years since my perfect doggy of my whole marriage passed away.  but we picked up this little girl on october 30th, thinking we’d be fostering but I dunno, I think she is a keeper. She is a border collie/greyhound cross we are told.  Border collie is apparent, but I’m not sure i’m buying the greyhound.  There is nothing delicate limbed about her at all,which I am presuming I would see a bit of if there were greyhound in her.  But anyway, this dog is FREAKING smart.  She is 13 weeks old this weekend, and she can already sit, shake, lay down, roll over, play dead, and do hand targeting.  We are working on stay and release right now, which is so hard for puppies, never mind this young, but I can reliably get about 15 feet away from her and oh…say 30 seconds in duration at this point.  Its a good start.  She is so cute.

One Response to “Introspective or self-obsessed, find a good therapist, etc…”

  1. I loved this post. It is so honest, hopeful and now I want a new puppy. (I am going to check out your other blog next)

    I know how tough this stuff can be and frankly if we don’t figure us out, who will? When you write about your own travels and trials someone else going through it and reading it feel you speaking for them. So try not to be so hard on yourself.

    Here’s hoping your new therapist isn’t a dick! *raises coffee cup*

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