Tag Archives: emotional eating

A Change Anything Activity

12 Aug

here is an activity I was asked to do that I hope will help me get over the problems of snacking at night.  It is my biggest biggest danger area by FAR.

Take a minute and write down all the behaviors you do during this crucial moment that you know you shouldn’t

  • I eat sweet or salty snacks available in the house.
  • I go out and purchase sweet or salty snacks if they are not available in the house.
  • I ask family members to go out and purchase snacks for me.
  • I take the snacks upstairs to bed and play on the computer while I eat them.
  • Sometimes i don’t keep perfect track of how much of it I have eaten.

– Then next to each one, jot down why they make you feel good (or why you do them)

I eat sweet or salty snacks available in the house.

I am honestly not sure why I want to eat the snacks. I’m rarely hungry. It satisfies my sweet (or salty) tooth.  It calms me down and relaxes me.  It gives me something to do.

I go out and purchase sweet or salty snacks if they are not available in the house.

I like planning and purchasing snacks. It gives me something to do.

I ask family members to go out and purchase snacks for me.

I like it if I don’t have to go out and buy them, I can just sit and watch TV or play on the computer until they come back.  Sometimes my husband likes to get his snacks too and then we eat together.

I take the snacks upstairs to bed and play on the computer while I eat them.

Its sort of like a slumber party.  I do something I like and eat the snacks.  Sometimes my husband eats his snacks too and we watch TV together.

Successful changers find alternate activities that also make them feel good, but are more healthy such as “going for a 15 minute walk” instead of “watching TV.”

– For the last step, brainstorm a list of things that might be better alternatives. Then tonight, when you are tempted to do an unhealthy normal behavior, try a new one.

I could eat a healthier snack.

I could knit or crochet to keep myself busy.

I could go on a walk, but often its hard with all the kids to get away, and right now its really hot outside still at night.

I could blog or get on twitter and talk about it and get support.

I could read a book that will encourage me to do something different.

I could do an activity with one of my kids.

I could get something done around the house (cleaning, prep)

 

So, I have not actually DONE this yet, tried alternate behaviors.  I have in the past, but have again fallen into the trap of this behavior.  It is like a bone-deep, soul deep behavior that I don’t understand. I like to eat snacks at night.  I don’t like to do some of the things other people might say, like take a bath (not a fan) and its like there are all sorts of behaviors and barriers are all tied up in this situation.  I’m probably making it more difficult than it really is.  Maybe I need to just try it and see.  Its like I just get this “itch” about an hour or two after dinner to get my snack on.  And my mind won’t let it go until I scratch the itch, either with eating or with shopping, my two go-to behaviors.

A bad day, low iron and identifying triggers

21 Mar

So this is all feeling rather like a big pile of spaghetti noodles to sort out.  Today was a really strange day.  It is the first day that I would say I willfully broke most of my eating guidelines and just kept going.  I also didn’t exercise.  I am trying to figure out why.  Possible reasons:

  • WLS Honeymoon is over?
  • Hubby was home and I just wanted to be like old days in having fun with him
  • Onederland is close and some part of me is not ready?
  • TOM?
  • Stress from some source I can’t really identify as a trigger?

What I can say is good about it is, despite how crap my eating was, I still logged it.  The temptation to just “skip” logging the bad stuff I ate and say I’ll start over tomorrow was very strong.  But I didn’t.  Its out there in all its shameful glory.

I know I recognize this sort of feeling.  I felt disconnected today, not with it.  I felt like I was somehow not a WLS post op.  I just wanted to do what I wanted to do, eat what i wanted to eat, and pretend like life was like it used to be.

So I can see I did this, but I can’t really FEEL that any of the reasons above is a legitimate “oh yes, that’s absolutely it” source for why I did what I did.

So I guess, more musing is required to see if I am ever able to overcome my “trigger blindness” that I seem to have.

I also got a call from the doc and learned that my iron level in my 3 month post op blood work was low, it was 24 and should have been in the range of 50-150.  So I had to go out tonight and get an iron supplement. I am not sure how soon it will help.

Well, I won’t say “back to it tomorrow” because really, its back to today.  In the next minute, i can choose to make better choices than I made in the last minute.

6 week post op, Groundhog day, awash in behavior change options

2 Feb

Well, yesterday I was officially six weeks post-op. I am really surprised how fast the time went. The time sure CRAWLED to get to the surgery date and through the liquids phases of the post-op diet. At this point, I basically feel like me again. I don’t have any tenderness in my tummy, my energy level is pretty much back to normal, and I am allowed to have a full range of diet options. What does all that mean? It means I feel like I am teetering on the edge of my own personal possibility of groundhog day, of either spring coming early, or an interminable stretch of time ahead of me where I continue to battle darkness, personal choices and challenges. I want spring to come early for myself, and with it the possibility of change, new behaviors and new hope. I want spring to come and bring me new confidence, increased self-esteem and higher belief in myself that I can change my behaviors, tiny steps at at time, to develop a new normal.

This surgery is sooo not about the physical and mechanical aspects of all of this. I keep thinking of other analogies in life and none of them quite work but have parts that resonate. At first I thought, its like declaring bankruptcy. But that is long before I realized the truth of the matter about weight loss surgery, about how the day of surgery is really just the beginning of hard work. Up until the last while, I realized that even a part of me felt I was taking “the easy way” out. But this is not the easy way out. Just because my stomach is smaller doesn’t change my personality, my habits, my behaviors. It is easier to stick to the post-op diet in the early phases, ironically. Honest to god, I do think its like the “rehab” equivalent for a drug or alcohol addict. The radical change in behavior, supervised medically, to ensure you don’t hurt yourself and have a chance at a do over. You don’t feel like yourself, you feel very “medical”, you fear complications if you choose the wrong behavior. But I can see that as the medicalness fades, and the risk of complications decreases over time, its just me out there. Me and the things I choose to do next to make my life different than it was before.

I started with a therapist locally last week, and I was given two homework assignments. “Stay in Today” and think about what triggers me to eat. The first assignment is better for me right now, because I can do that. I know that I have the tendency to spend my life thinking about everything but the day in front of me, and making today the best day I can make it. Imagine what the world would be like if you lived each day just focused on today? Trying to do what I can, just in the day, to make it good. After many of those days, the past starts to become easier to look back on, and the future starts to potentially become something less to worry about, if you’re taking care of each day, one at a time. I know this cognitively, but it is hard to change the behavior of daydreaming about tomorrow, in particular. When I pay off this bill I can….when I get my tax refund I can….when I weigh 199 I will….when I am a size 14 I will….What a shame that I have been living my life in suspended animation, always holding off the good stuff for later. What is going to be good about today? What is going to be good about today for you? Think about that. Because that is at the core of this thing, I think.

The thinking about what triggers me to eat is much harder, particularly because I’m post-op and everything just feels kind of different right now, if that makes any sense. I think because i have gone through my six week rehab, whatever triggers there are aren’t working the same way on me, so its hard to pinpoint what they are. I did identify the ones about travel back in October or whenever that was, for sure. So that was good, but in day to day life, I’m not necessarily seeing it. I know that at the end of a work day, I can feel pretty mentally wiped out and lazy, and that its easy just to succumb to going out. That is still true, and we eat out a lot, even now, post-op, but I am able to make good choices still when I am out. It is easier now that I have a wider choice on the menu. When i was in liquids or softs, I felt pretty pissy about eating only what I could eat. Now I feel pretty happy that I can eat a good portion of protein and try some tastes of other things. My worry is, its a slippery slope? Do I valiantly NOT have any tastes of other things, to avoid sliding down the slope, or is it better to have the tastes and get some joy out of it, so that I don’t take a nosedive off the top of the slope at some point? My guess is, that answer is different for everyone, and we have to find that truth within ourselves. Shit, I hate that answer. 🙂

Another thing we talked about was fear being at the base of a lot of behaviors like addictions (and i consider that I have a food addiction) And she mentioned that for a lot of people with issues with food and money, that fear of lack is at the core of it. I haven’t been magically been able to put my finger on the reasons I am the way I am. Its like an elephant in the room that I truly can’t see. I know certain truths about my past that I can logically see have probably influenced my life, but I haven’t had that big “a-ha” moment that I feel like I should have.

I am working so hard right now on amassing my knowledge around behavior change. I am a researcher my nature, I love to know about stuff, and why it works. So that is pretty time consuming. I can’t blindly follow one methodology either, so I am in the midst of learning about several, including The Beck Diet Solution, Change Anything, and Tiny Habits. Honestly they all support each other, and have different steps to approaching the same thing, which is behavior change. I like comparing them and taking different ideas from them, but at the moment I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. I wish God would just knock on my head and say, “here, this is the way, you’re making this way too complicated.” But honestly, I feel that I have to practice some critical new skills that come out of these methods to get to the other side and see it get easier. One of the things I liked hearing about in Change Anything is this idea of “being a scientist” — to try different approaches and after you try them, look at them to see why they worked or did not work. This is something that honestly happens in my work life all the time, so why this should be so novel to me in my personal life is kind of ridiculous, but I like the idea of framing that way. Because again, it takes out the “that was a failure, therefore, I am a failure.” thought process. It makes all of this an experiment to see what works and what doesn’t, and then a matter of assembling those things that work and figuring out how to hang them together to make a total program of change.

I have joined an accountability group for six weeks with Tracy from mytinytank.net and some other lovely ladies that hopefully will join us as we go along. The idea is to commit to a single thing we want to make a change around and be accountable to each other to report our progress, our successes and our challenges. We have a once a week brief call to report on this, and are free to reach out to the other members durign the week to ask for support at crucial moments or victories. I like this! I think two elements I’ve avoided in past attempts to change behavior is social support and exercise. So therefore, these are two areas I am focusing on the most right now to help with setting in new habits.

Phew. That was soapboxy. Thanks for reading.

What is cheating?

23 Jan

A very thought provoking post on Vertical Sleeve Talk today has had me do a lot of thinking about my definitions of cheating.  The original thread is here. I’m on the odd man out side of this thread, with most posters prefer bluntness and a kick in the pants if they are cheating.  For me, that kind of treatment makes me shut down and DO.BAD.THINGS.  If someone really knows me and has earned my trust and knows my issues they may have the right to give me a come to jesus about something, but not a random stranger on the internet.  I think the original poster was not getting down to the fine line of definition I’m struggling with and in the end it may not matter, but it does make me curious.

Here are some of my thoughts pulled out from that thread.  I want to grab them here because they represent a lot of thought i have about cheating, shame and failure.

This is an interesting thread. The immediate post op time period isn’t a time for cheating for sure. But I know I have made choices in the past month that were mistakes.
This may be a bunny trail, but, the word cheating is one I have issues with. Anyone reading or read Beck Diet Solution? It talks about mistakes versus cheating. I think the majority of folks in here who talk about cheating on their post op diets make mistakes, they don’t cheat. In all likelihood, a few bites too much or the wrong thing are not going to be the undoing of our sleeve. But when we attach words like cheating to it, there is such a message of immorality and failure to it..I dunno.
I guess apart from the extreme posts like eating a burger and popcorn a couple of days post op, I’d rather see us encourage each other in getting back to doing the right thing. Many many of us got here because of emotional eating and black and white thinking, so I’d rather us offer each other support to do the right behaviors.
While we did have extreme surgery, for many of us the ability to be perfectly compliant doesn’t magically occur just because we had the surgery. Maybe I shouldn’t have been approved, dunno, but I think I am doing a helluva lot better, even with mistakes, now, than preop!! But by my former harsh use of the word cheating , I definitely have done so many times in the past month. But each time I eat I have a chance to do it better.
Eta–not upset by original post, just challenging us to think about what cheating really is and encourage us to help each other out of black and white thinking!!!!

And a second response later in the thread:

Posted Yesterday, 11:54 PM

View Post<usernamedeleted>, on January 22, 2012 – 11:13 PM, said:

Blunt is good. This is a support site right? Maybe some people need a different kind of way of support. I’m
Yeah, I think that is what I am thinking about. I have struggled with this a lot over the last year, thinking about this.  I guess i’ve found that I react a lot better with encouragement rather than bluntness, and that is me.  I don’t need someone to sugar coat it for me, I just dont’ need someone judging me, because I already do it a lot worse to myself.
A lot of people got here through denial, very true and no doubt. Denial probably plays a role in most emotional eating issues. but it may not be the biggest issue for all of us.
I got here not by denial as my primary problem, I’ve always been painfully aware of how bad what I was doing was, but unable to stop.  I’ve spent years continually beating myself up and being way more blunt and over critical with myself than anyone else could ever be. For me, using language that represents a judgement on an action, is very black and white when I talk to myself or someone else, and is something I’m really trying to change. So a word like “cheating” is just a super loaded word to me. Which for those of us who have this particular flaw in thinking, cheating leads to feeling I’m a failure, and then that leads to thinking why bother and more failure. But saying I made a mistake, helps me know I can do better next time.
Think of it this way….if you forget to take a dose of a medication you need to take, do you consider that you have cheated? I don’t. I don’t think I’m a failure or that I’ve completely blown it.
Taking the emotions and judgement out of things is helping me a lot in getting to a new normal.
The other thing that is interesting is how we define  cheating. The original poster, Indymom, said:

View Post<username deleted>, on January 21, 2012 – 11:18 PM, said:

… the term “cheating” to me makes me think of being on Weight Watchers and deciding to eat a medium pizza by myself with breadsticks and a 2-liter of Pepsi, and not count the points.
which is a way different definition of cheating than I have.  I think that if I have eaten one more bite than I should have, or a type of food I shouldn’t have, that I have cheated.  And I’m trying to beat that kind of judgemental feeling out of myself, because when I feel that way I feel like a failure.
I’m encouraged by this kind of discussion about what works for us.
If useful, here is a coverage on this from Beck Diet Solution, which is the cognitive behavioral based therapy approach to eating issues developed by Judith Beck, who’s father actually developed CBT.

Quote from Beck Diet Solution

No more “cheating”
The word cheat doesn’t appear again in this book outside of this box. I’ve omitted it intentionally because too many unsuccessful dieters have all-or-nothing thoughts about their eating:  Either I’m perfect on this diet or I’ve cheated…If I’ve cheated, I’ve blown it–I may as well continue to cheat for the rest of the [day/week/month/year]/  I’ve found that people who view themselves as having cheated usually feel demoralized and even “bad.” which makes it even more difficult for them to get back on track.  Instead of cheat, I’ve used the words unplanned eating and overeating.  These terms are less negatively charged.  People who use them are able to take a more benign view and say Okay, so I ate something I didn’t plan to eat or I ate more than I was supposed to. But they’re also able to then add, It was just a mistake, no big deal…I’ll get back on track for the rest of the day.
The other thing that I think about, is in post-op diet, what really IS cheating?  I mean with the super wide variation of advice on the post-op diet, those of us who research and see all this variation, you realize that there is a WIDE definition of what is considered ok during the immediate post-op diet phase.  My single surgeon and his plan is not the definitive be-all end-all of advice.  I don’t take one person’s plan and advice as my absolute truth.  If there were a gold standard out there, or if all of their advice was remarkably similar, then I’d say the choices i’ve made since surgery that deviated from my doc’s handout would be something to think more about why I’ve made other choices.
Example there — the Cornell VSG post op guidelines say we can have oatmeal, grits, farina.    My doc’s guidelines say no.  Am I cheating if I have thinned oatmeal?
All very interesting.
I *think* the original post was targeted at folks that are blatantly doing really major things that are not good for them in the post-op phase, which I support, but where is the line?  This really triggered me to do a lot of thinking! Thanks!

1 Week Post Op, How did I get so fat musings?

30 Dec

Well, I had my first week post op visit, it was pretty uneventful.  I had my staples removed, and the PA put on steri-strips.  Got a prescription for actigall, which I am supposed to start taking one month post op to protect my gallbladder.  Wish he had just pulled the darn thing at the same time 🙂  I only lost 2 lbs according to them, but my my home scale says I lost 6.  I think its somewhere inbetween.  I was wearing jeans and a sweater because I was cold, and that is a lot more than I’ve had on at past weigh ins.  Not exactly the huge amount I would have hoped for for having spent a whole week on clear liquids consuming less than 250 calories a day.  Hmm.  But I know it will start coming off.

So how am I feeling?  Pretty good!  I’m off the heavy duty pain meds, as of yesterday.  I still have twinges and pulls in my incisions, particularly when getting up, but I am walking about 5k steps a day so that is probably ok.  I need to gradually start increasing the walking.  I have not experienced any nausea or acid issues or vomiting or any of that stuff <knock wood>  I have had some things that kind of didn’t like going down, but the feeling passed quickly.  I do have a headache this afternoon, but all in all, not bad.  I miss my friend Advil, because that works so much better for me than Tylenol.  Boo.  My incisions all look good.  One was getting irritated, the top middle one, from my bra rubbing against the staples, but its much better now that all the staples are out.  The worst one is on the far right side, which is opposite of what most people say.  My doc said he does all the hard work through the one on the right because he gets a better angle on the stapler.

I was telling a fellow VSG buddy, FavoredOne, that I have this little stinkin’ thinkin’ thought that I will be the one person for whom sleeve doesn’t work, right?  Doesn’t everyone have these thoughts?   I have to step back and look at it and try to break it down.  I came home from the hospital having lost a bit, so its not that.  I spent a week on clear liquids with less than 250 calories a day.  I got in all my fluids and protein each day.  I did what I was supposed to do.  So I just have to wait and see, the weight has to come off sometime, right?

I started full liquids yesterday, and it is a lot better.  first day out, I went to P.F. Changs and got my favorite, hot and sour soup, and they blended it for me.  1 7 oz serving has 80 calories, 3 g fat, 9 g carbs and 7 g protein.  I love it.  I got the large bowl, and just measure myself out a small portion for lunch and dinner. One bowl that cost $5.95 will last me about….6-8 meals?  Amazing.  It fills me up really quickly.

I will admit to a couple of cheats and really weird behaviors.  I let two cella liquid center cherries melt in my mouth slowly on christmas day, and spit out the cherry itself.  I also had one tiny piece of potato chip and ground it to bits and let it go down with a drink of water.  then the weird(er) stuff.   I have chewed up some things that I liked, and spit them back out and rinse my mouth out with water after each bite.  I just wanted the taste and the sensation of chewing.  I can’t be the only person ever to do that. I know its stupid, but….I figure its better than actually eating it.  B

I find it interesting how different the advice on post-op diets are.  I am a member of verticalsleevetalk.com, and there is such a continuum.  I talk to people who are on clears for 14 days.  I talk to people released from the hospital on full liquids, and one who was released from the hospital on soft foods! FOr myself, I have 1 week of clears, 2 weeks of full, 3 weeks of soft and then by week 6 resuming to normal diet.

I read a great memoir last night, called ‘Designated Fat Girl” by Jennifer Joyner (jenniferjoyner.com) and it was really interesting, so many of the ways she described her food addiction, her thinking, her rationalization, her food binge choices mirror me.   It was a quick read and made me think.  She describes these behaviors as self-destructive.  which, ultimately, eating the way I have for all these years, is destructive.  I also have at least one other fairly socially accepted addiction that is self destructive, but I don’t make the link between why I have done what I have done/do what I do and wanting subconsciously self-destructive.  I just don’t get what my reasons for doing what I do are.  I don’t get it.  i have spent time in 12 step groups, but havent’ had a great enlightenment.  When does that come?

Yes, I have sexual abuse or molestation or whatever you might call what happened to me between ages 4-5, but on the scale of how bad those things can be, mine wasn’t as bad.  I have talked about it in therapy, I know its not my fault.

I always FELT fat.  When I was a kid, I was a little chubby, but not overweight.  teenage years as I shot up and was active in school stuff, I thinned out.  When I started college, I had an extremely obese roommate, and I think apart from major personality issues (she thought it was ok to have a 1.x GPA and never go to class, I was a “square” who had a 4.0 GPA that first year)  I think I was scared to look at her to know what I could (and have) become, as I already could binge like no one’s business.  That year, I didn’t gain the freshman 15, I lost about 10 lbs, because every time I would see her in our room, binging, often on my food, it disgusted me and I would go to the gym to exercise or run out on the trails.  I got married after my freshman year weighing 132 lbs and in a size 9, and still imagined that I was a fat girl.  What I would give to weigh that now!

My weight started to balloon up after I got married.  About a year after I had been married, I went to weight watchers for the first time.  I weighed 152 at that point (still, would kill to weigh that)  I gradually just gained and gained and gained.  A lot of people assume I can blame my weight on all the babies.  But nope. I was 250 before I got pregnant with my first, and have been bouncing up and down from that point for 15 years.

So I guess I am supposed to figure out why I do this.  I’m not sure, is it necessary to know why?  Will that keep me from doing it in the future or at least understanding it more?

Introspective or self-obsessed, find a good therapist, etc…

19 Nov

So my personality in general is an obsessive one.  I tend to dive into whatever I am interested in with the burning energy of a thousand suns.  So I guess, my current obsession with my upcoming #wls, at least, is an experience my DH is used to in terms of ‘losing me’ for a while.  He has his own things too.  I find myself worrying about this obsession more than usual though, wondering how long it will last and if there is a healthier way to deal with it.  I suspect its normal for most people contemplating a major life change to really be thinking about it a lot.  I’m not sure that my husband is worried about it, seeing as he is so used to watching me “obsession hop” my way through life.  But I do find myself wondering about that aspect of personality — what makes that so, and how do you rechannel that?  I suppose the answer to all these things is counseling and therapy and the like. 

I have not had good lucky with therapists.  The first one I tried, for original treatment of anxiety, past abuse issues, was ok, but I was young and didn’t stick with it, and frankly, I still feel the same about it, in that i want to work in therapy, not just talk.  I want someone to give me things to work on, not just chat about my past.  I’ve talked about my past to death.   Second therapist, was after a major loss in life, and she focused on something called TAT.  I was pleased that it was ‘doing’ something, but became majorly turned off when she told me my auras were blocked.  It felt like quackery from that moment forward, and I stopped going.  The third was one to really work on all the issues across the board, ADHD, emotional eating, you name it.  I walk into his office, and after a brief introduction, the first substantive thing he says, after I spend 10 minutes pouring out a summary of my life story, is “Let’s talk about your weight, you do realize that the image you send to the world, don’t you?”  I wish I had gotten right up in that moment and walked out, prick.  Really, the first introductory visit is the place for “tough love”?  Really? 

So, there it is, my hesitance to find a new therapist.  I’m kind of thinking about using one of the ones that that bariatric program has do pysch evals,because they must see enough people for emotional eating issues.  One of the guys comes to the bariatric support groups to do talks on specific issues, so I think I’m going to listen to him in some of those before deciding on him.  Ultimately, i would like to have a female therapist, but man, how do you find a needle in a haystack?  Maybe I’ll get some good recommendations when I begin going to the support group.

In more tactical things, I’m beginning to  accumulate what I need to be prepared for the pre-op liquid diet and the post-op phase.  I have my bariatric vitamins for the first month at least (OptiSource)  I have samples of several different protein powders from vitalady, click, unjury.  I have some basic chocolate protein powder, and I have unjury chicken soup in a full sized container, with a full sized container of unjury unflavored on the way.  I have lots of boxes of sugar free jello.  I have my teeny tiny dishes in the cupboard.  I have gas strips (LOL).  I need some slippers, and they better have adult sized stompeez, I tell you. Haha!    Although I think our new puppy would have a field day with those if I didn’t watch her like a hawk.

On that note, this pup is amazing.  We have done just rounds of fostering for the last couple of years since my perfect doggy of my whole marriage passed away.  but we picked up this little girl on october 30th, thinking we’d be fostering but I dunno, I think she is a keeper. She is a border collie/greyhound cross we are told.  Border collie is apparent, but I’m not sure i’m buying the greyhound.  There is nothing delicate limbed about her at all,which I am presuming I would see a bit of if there were greyhound in her.  But anyway, this dog is FREAKING smart.  She is 13 weeks old this weekend, and she can already sit, shake, lay down, roll over, play dead, and do hand targeting.  We are working on stay and release right now, which is so hard for puppies, never mind this young, but I can reliably get about 15 feet away from her and oh…say 30 seconds in duration at this point.  Its a good start.  She is so cute.

Psych eval passed, Exploring behavior change, qotw thoughts

11 Oct

So first off, I had my required psych eval for weight loss surgery. I was worried about this not because of any extreme psych issues,addictions or inability to demonstrate that I understand what I am getting myself into, rather, where the line gets drawn between eating behaviors that would preclude me from being able to pursue weight loss surgery at this time. I did a lot of thinking prior to this appt and realized that I have changed a lot in the past year to get to this point. More engagement in good behaviors, more mindfulness of bad choices, attempting meditation, tracking my steps almost all year long with my fitbit, and in the last two months, fairly decent eating behavior change. Not perfect, but enough to result in about 16 lbs of weight loss in the last two months.

In case you are pre-op and want to know what the psych eval might be like, here is what mine was like. I was told to prepare to be there for 3 hours, I was there for 1 hr and 50 min. When I arrived, they gave mea first test called an eating inventory that was maybe 40-50 questions, mostly true/false. I didn’t like it, because it used the word hungry a lot, and was hard to answer with that word in there for me. It listed lots of circumstances in which I might be hungry, and I know that what I do is not hunger. It’s want, desire, not hunger. So that was hard. But quick.the second test was the MMPI2, and had over 300 questions. I actually thought it would be longer. It was easy.some weird questions, some of which made me chuckle…but not bad. Then there was something called BDI, I think, again fine. And a final one I can’t remember, but it was quick. I think that was all. I waited a bit, then got called back with the psychologist. He set expectations, and started in on interview, asking me about the procedure I wanted. We then discussed through all the typical areas, motivation, support, family composition and history, my existing gad and depression, etc. It was fine. He told me my Tests confirmed what we discussed, no major issues, confirmation of anxiety and mild social avoidance. Which of course I know. He also tried to probe more in my ADHD diagnosis to confirm, not sure if he agrees I have it or not.I am not sure I do or not, either. In the end he told me he saw nothing that would prevent me from moving forward, that he would be reporting back that I could move forward, assuming I stay on my meds and would recommend the bariatric centers support groups. He said it would take about a week to get back to my doc.

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