I have not been in the habit of making New Years Resolutions because I never felt like I had any chance of making them real for myself, so why bother? This year, I have a ray of hope that there is the chance of some change this year. With the shell of one of my favorite coping behaviors stripped away, I find myself at odds with how to make resolutions, however, even though I think this year I can actually make some happen.
So the biggest thing is doign the OneWord365 idea. I have a few ideas of choice words – nurture — so many of my issues are self-destructive types of behaviors — what is the opposite of self-destructive? That is what I desire to be. other choices — alive, willing, active, open, confident, diligent, serenity….hmmm.
As for traditional resolutions. Hmm. so here goes. These are not in priority order. They are all important.
1. Keep my head about weight loss. It will be inevitable this year that I will lose weight. My resolution centers moer around not comparing myself to others, getting help where it makes sense, and not become annoying to everyone I love because I am hyper-focused on weight loss. I tend to really hyper focus on things I am interested in, to the exclusion of most everything else. Its just a part of an addictive sort of personality, I guess. I’d like to keep some rationality about it.
2. Find a good therapist, and actually go. I’ve talked in the past about shitty therapy experiences. I’d like to find someone experienced with bariatric/emotional eating/addiction issues whose personality I can tolerate.
3. Figure out where I am going spiritually. I was raised in a strong religious tradition, and for a variety of reasons, I have drifted away from the religion I was raised with. I don’t know if organized religion is for me right now, but I do strongly want a spiritual life that I think will help with some of the other issues. I’d like to explore meditation and understand if I need to be part of a church community, or if I can find spirituality outside of that setting.
4. Improve my career skills. I want to take advantage of training opportunities and continue to improve my skills in key areas, in particular interactions with clients and discovery/requirements elicitation techniques.
5. Spend more active time with my kids, be a better role model. A huge reason for my WLS is to be there for my kids (from a health perspective) I’d also like to just “be there” more for them. I am often distracted or have been unable to be active with them. I want to do more with them that will improve all of our lives.
6. Increase connection/intimacy with hubby. We are celebrating 20 years of marriage this year! I would like to ensure we have a date night regularly. That will do wonders.
7. Put more care into my appearance. For years, being overweight has taken all the fun out of being a woman. I begin to see the possibilities of nicer clothing and taking more care in my appearance. I think I will feel better trying to do this, and also will reflect positively on my career.
Ok, so nothing highly philosophical or grand, but a good start, perhaps.
Loser Mama 